I have been on a diet for 35 years.
I really have. I was ALWAYS the big one around my friends. It was horribly unfair to grow up with a best friend who was delightfully tiny in every way. I always felt like an awkward giant which is sad, as looking back I know that I wasn't enormous. On the bigger side of the spectrum, but not anyone people would point at.
I so hoped I wouldn't pass on either my genetic make-up or my eating issues to my kids. Well, I know I can stop wishing. It's all over. They're big, and they're hungry.
Sam was a late talker, made worse by the fact he looked like a 5-year-old when he was three. He'd mutely gesture at me as other women at the store would look at me pityingly. And poor Matilda. She wasn't even allowed to eat cereal at the normal 4-month mark because her doctor thought she was too big. Adults constantly ask her what grade she's in. She doesn't know how to answer (more looks of pity) because she isn't in a grade. She's in preschool.
Some of you remember Sam's early passion for bread. I couldn't stop thinking about that today as it all played out again. I try so hard to feed my family well. I don't do anything all or nothing, but processed food is very limited, I push fruit and veggies, and protein is used for energy.
Eric is at the cabin right now so the kids and I are alone for a week. Groceries have been low so we went to the store this morning. I told them I was going to say yes to everything they wanted, and I did. Our cart was overflowing when we got to the check-out.
Sam and Matilda stood off to the side and slightly behind the register as our groceries were scanned. I was facing them and the cashier. The store was full of people. Without consulting each other, they started a vaudeville routine as the groceries were scanned. They watched the receipt grow longer and the total grow higher. Totally in sync, their eyes grew larger and their mouths dropped open. They slumped their shoulders and rolled their eyes around and around. I think Sam drooled a little. Matilda yelled, "Mom! Are you even going to have any money LEFT?"
I couldn't help laughing. I walked over and hissed, "Knock it off! People are going to think I don't feed you! Stop being so happy about groceries!"
I was too embarrassed to look around to see if anyone saw my little (huge?) urchins. We packed up and got out of there.
And no one - NO ONE - was more excited than I was about that full cart of groceries.
