Matilda Is One Year Old!

Happy birthday to Matilda!

I've alluded to how horrible 2008 was for all of us. I honestly don't think I could ever go into the specifics. Imagine the worst thing you can and multiply it by 6. When I found out I was pregnant with Matilda I was more shocked than anything else. I wanted her so badly but all I could think about was how in the world I'd be able to fit a baby in with everything else going on. I knew I was pregnant for over a week before I told Jackie - THAT'S how upside-down everything was.

Jackie was immediately thrilled. She knew our situation better than anyone else and knew I felt overwhelmed. She waved away my fears. "This baby is going to save us all," she said.

I never could have imagined how right Jackie was. Matilda has changed everything. It sounds like I am being dramatic but it is true: we are better people with her in the world. Every day since she has been born has been better than the last.

Happy birthday, Matilda Jane, my strength-in-battle baby. You are so loved.

Matilda's Birthday - The People

Last Saturday we celebrated Matilda's first birthday. Almost all of our families were able to come. The house was crowded and hot and it was a lovely afternoon.

My dad took all of the pictures of the party!

I was going to pretend I was posting this to show Matilda's cute pink cheeks but the truth is I want everyone to see my new hair.

Grandma Joyce, Jackie and Mike...this is so darling of Grandma and Jackie but I don't think Mike got the joke.

Bret, Lisa, Miranda, Eric, Sam, and I look totally bored as Grandma Susan shows Matilda her new cars.

Papa was singing along with Matilda's new Musical Dora book from Grandpa Mark and Grandma Tina. Matilda was shocked. Actually, we all were.

Matilda's Birthday - The Presents

We looooove Little People in our house!

She's in the middle of a happy, side-of-the-face hug with her puppy from Grandma Joyce.

Bags are as fun as the gifts! For a moment or two she had this one completely over her head.

Who cares about clothes? Matilda wants the hangers!

Sam and Matilda were desperately trying to get her baby from Grandma Colleen out of the box. WHY do manufacturers make that so difficult?!

Matilda's Birthday - The Cake

Matilda does this when she's feeling nervous or embarrassed. She knows something is coming but she doesn't know what.

I help her blow out her candle...

...she gingerly picks at the cake...

...and discovers what all the fuss is about.

Yum!

I Think He Missed the Point

Sam walked to a side table and picked up a framed picture. "Mom," he asked, "Where did you get this?"

"That's a picture of Jackie and Mike at Mom and Dad's wedding," I answered.

"Your wedding?" Sam said.

"Yes," I said. "Mom and Dad love each other, so we went to a church with all of our family and friends and promised God that we'd always be together. We said we'd always take care of each other and we asked to be blessed with kids - you and Tilda."

Awestruck, Sam gazed down at the picture. "And then you got this frame," he whispered reverently.

On A Jet Plane

Eric went to Orlando on Monday for work. I know, rough, right? "You go toil away under a palm tree...I'll stay here and change diapers!"

His trip is really short so it doesn't sound like he had time for too much fun. He's coming back today. We are all so ready for him to be back. It used to be normal for us to go days without seeing him. Now we've all been climbing up the walls as we are used to a bit of a break from each other every evening. I tried to play pillows with the kids last night. They didn't laugh as hard as they do when Eric plays it. I'm not willing to snap someone's spine simply for the comic value.

Sam and Matilda are going to lose their minds when Eric gets home today. There is a strong chance I'll be jumping up and down and clapping right along with them!

School Boy

Sam...you are awesome. This picture couldn't be any funnier or sweeter to me.

Blasted Calendar

Eric and I have been maniacs trying to get everything done ahead of time this holiday season. I wanted to enjoy December and make sure to have time and energy for Matilda's birthday. Our house is completely decorated for Christmas and all of our presents are purchased, wrapped, and under the tree downstairs.

I see Sam every day - we live together, in fact - so why did I completely forget about him during all of this planning? He's so excited for Christmas he's going to explode. He can't handle looking at the presents under the tree and knowing some of them are for him. He is in a constant state of almost jumping out of his skin. Every time I start to go downstairs - EVERY time - Sam leaps to his feet. "NOW it's Christmas??" he asks.

This morning Matilda was crabby about something or another. Sam knelt down in front of her. "Tidda," he said. "Tidda, it's almost Christmas! Tidda, Santa is coming. Santa! Yes! Christmas is coming and Santa is coming!"

(I don't know where this Santa stuff is coming from. He gets more from books and movies than I realize. We don't "do" Santa in our house other than acknowledging that he is a very fun part of many holiday stories.)

And so begins what will be the longest 25 days of my life.

Thanksgiving 2009

My mom and Doug are in town. Grandma Colleen spent Monday morning with the kids. Sam spent most of yesterday with Grandpa Mark. Last night Eric and I were able to go to a birthday party for a friend I love dearly. Today we're spending the day at Jackie's house along with Mike, Miranda, James, Grandma Barb, Grandpa Doug, Grandma Joyce, Bret, Lisa, and Dale. We're going to eat until we're sick and I imagine that at some point Jackie and I will make each other laugh until we cry.

I am thankful for so many things - the theme of my life lately has been gratitude - but more than anything I'm happy for my kids. I'm thankful their norm is a busy, happy Thanksgiving surrounded by family and friends. I'm thankful they don't know what it's like to live without that.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Somebody Pinch Me

I'm tired and I have to get up early. I just want to document this for myself.

Right now I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. Up until now college was the best time of my life. I've been happy to have had it but seriously worried that everything was going to be downhill from there. Ugh, and it did go down...and down...and down...

And then I woke up and here I am. I am stupid in love with Eric. No more horrible schedules for us. He is home every night for dinner and with us every weekend. We are having so much fun together. I love being Sam's mom. I love that he is in preschool. Matilda is a delight in every way. They are darling, funny, healthy kids. I've been blessed a million times over by them. I love our house. We are so comfortable and happy here. I love being so close to our families. They are completely crazy - how are they able to have such a calming, centering effect on me?

More than anything I am thankful. Thank you, God, for giving me more love and happiness than any human deserves. I pray I am able to give all of it back to my amazing family and friends.

Bliss.