Trying, Trying

I know what my blogging problem is. I am VERY resistant to doing things I have to do. Even if I want it, if someone tells me I have to have it, I will refuse it. It's ridiculous and there is nothing I can do about it. I've missed so many days here I keep telling myself I HAVE to post something and then I rebel against myself.

Here are some pictures of another time I tried something and failed:

This was one of the first warm days of spring. The kids had been cooped up inside all winter and I thought I'd be fun and attempt a walk with all three of them. Matilda and Charlie were so cute in the double stroller together!

Hmmm...they don't look particularly thrilled, do they? It was a disaster. Matilda screamed when the stroller was moving and Charlie screamed when it stopped. Sam was so disappointed that it turned into a short walk. As I struggled to get the girls out of the stroller Sam fell on the front steps. When Dusty showed up half an hour later, all three of them were still crying and hanging on me. I had ruined each of their young lives with a stroll up the street.

Sometimes making an effort doesn't pay off. I haven't yet given up here, though!

It's All A Blur

This is just a quick update to let everyone know I haven't forgotten I have a blog.

Eric and I had a fantastic weekend away. Sam and Matilda were run ragged by Grandma Barb. They had so much fun and were completely exhausted by the time we got home.

Sam is now 10 years old. There is no end to the ways he can surprise me. He has a pretty well-formed sense of humor. He is totally self-sufficient. I don't have to help with baths, teeth, getting dressed, making meals...I believe he could take the car down to Kwik Trip for a bag of Skittles if I'd only let him. He loves his dinosaurs and about 50 percent of my day is helping him sort them into piles of carnivores and herbivores.

Matilda continues to be chubby and elated at all times. She has her two front bottom teeth. She isn't crawling but can scoot and roll her way around a room. The days when I could lie her on a blanket and leave the room are long gone. She's obsessed with her toys and chews on everything.

I'll do my best to have some regular posts coming soon!

Mwa Ha Ha Ha!

That's how I evilly laugh when I picture people signing on to the blog, only to find no updates!

That was a lie. I actually feel guilty and sad about it. Sorry.

There's no end to our news - Matilda wrapping up a week of teething tops the list - but my favorite item of interest is our plans for this weekend.

We have been planning a family trip to the cabin. Eric took tomorrow off so it won't be a totally rushed weekend. On Monday I was chatting with my mom when I casually mentioned, "This weekend is going to be fun - but it would be nice for us to get away without the kids, too."

My mom cheerfully said, "Oh! Do you need me to come stay with them?"

I laughed, as the idea of her rearranging her plans/buying a plane ticket/coming from Colorado was simply funny. We changed the subject, chatted a bit longer and said goodbye.

About 10 minutes later she called back. "I found a flight early Friday morning but I'm still looking for something arriving Thursday night," she said.

Wait - what? Yep, Mom made the decision then and there that she wanted to watch my kids so I could have a four-day vacation. She'll be here around midnight tonight.

I am beside myself. Then there's another of me beside her. I can't wait! Eric and I are going to be able to truly relax. I told Eric he is not allowed to bother me or ask me anything. Well, except for checking if I want him to bring one or two margaritas out to me as I lounge in the hammock.

So...no new posts again until Tuesday! I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Stick A Fork In Me, I'm Done

Eric and I both come from very funny families but the differences in their humor have taken some getting used to. My family's humor is sharp, quick, witty, and usually a little demented. Eric's family is pretty quick as well but the basis of most of their humor is in repetition. They take a joke and drive it so far into the ground it isn't funny anymore. They then continue, not letting up until it actually comes back around and is hilarious again.

One of their family jokes is hiding rival sports team's "stuff" in each other's homes. We are predominantly Viking-loyal but there are a few black-sheep Packer fans in the family. One of the biggest Packer fans, Eric's Aunt Kay, visited our house in St Paul not long after we moved in. She was so kind - just like always. A few days after her visit I was surprised to open a cupboard and see a Packer teddy bear looking at me. The funniest part of it, for me, was the planning that had to have taken place. I picture sweet Aunt Kay carefully packing up her purse to go visit her nephew - making a quick stop at her Packer paraphernalia with the intent to make said nephew insane.

Remember how I said they take a joke so far it goes from annoying to funny again? A few weeks ago Eric's dad and stepmom, Wally and Susan, were here. Deep down, they are truly evil people, and one of them had bought an entire package of Packers plastic forks. We are STILL finding those forks. They have been in the freezer, stuck in the dirt of a plant, hanging from the tree in our front yard and wedged into a basket I have hanging on the wall. My favorite fork by far was the one stuck straight into the flag holder on our front step. I see it every time I walk past the front door, proudly pointing itself at the sky. Yes, it is still there.

Eric hasn't found it yet...and I think that is hilarious.

Angels Among Us

After college I floundered for a while. I was fine – but that was it. Fine. I wasn’t pushing myself or growing in any way. There was nothing in my life that I was truly passionate about. I ended up working at a day care about a year after graduating. I was hired to start the same week as another woman, Sharon.

Sharon intimidated the heck out of me. She was in her mid-fifties and seemed so hard. She was fairly serious and kept to herself. We were both shuffled around the center for a while until we were finally assigned a room together. Sharon and I were scheduled together all day, every day. She was never, ever rude or mean to me but she was very different from my 22-year-old self. However it’s impossible to work with someone all day without some small talk. Slowly Sharon and I got to know each other.

We eventually fell in love with each other. I can’t think of any other way to describe it. We talked about absolutely everything. I knew every wonderful, disgusting, personal thing about her and I shared just as much with her. She was unbelievably supportive. Like I said, I was floundering. She reminded me every day that I was able to decide my own fate. She made me believe I was worth more than what I had. In addition, she was hilarious. Not many people can make me laugh until I cry and get so weak I can hardly stand. Sharon did it every day.

I’d been doing a lot of soul-searching at that time. Eric and I had broken up three years earlier. The break-up was ugly (what break-up isn’t?) but we had always stayed in touch as friends. It took me three years but I finally realized that Eric really was the one for me. I, of course, told all of this to Sharon. I mused aloud that I knew I’d never be able to repair things with Eric – it had all ended too horribly.

Sharon wouldn’t hear any of it. “You love him?” she asked. “Then you tell him. Tell him. He may think you’re crazy and never want to speak with you again. But you will know that you were true to yourself. Life is a gift and living it with any less than complete truth is a waste.” She was adamant about it and I trusted her completely. I ended up talking with Eric, he flew to Denver to see me, and I found he was still just as crazy about me as I was about him. (Sharon, of course, adored him immediately and within 30 seconds of their introduction told him that he was going to marry me.)

Eric and I wanted to be together but the fact was that I lived in Denver and he had recently moved from Seattle back to the Twin Cities. Within a few weeks I was again sighing to Sharon that it just wasn’t going to work. I said that I would consider moving to Minnesota but I didn’t have any money, a job, or a place to live. All things I have always considered to be rather important.

Sharon was disgusted with me. “You don’t know how you’re going to move to Minnesota?” she said. “You put your stuff in your car and you just drive.”

I laughed at her. “Just drive? With nowhere to live, nowhere to work - ?”

“Yes,” she replied with absolute certainty. “You don’t get chances at love when they are convenient to you. You have a chance to be happy and you have to grab it. You put your stuff in your car and you just drive.”

I couldn’t believe it when I found myself doing just that. Everything I owned was in my little car. I had no job. I had no home. I had no money. And I just drove. Sharon reminded me that life has a way of working itself out. We can’t be afraid to take a chance. Sometimes we have to make a blind leap and trust that there will be someone there who won’t let us fall.

Words can’t express the gratitude I feel for Sharon. There is no doubt in my mind that without her I would not be with Eric today. I would have never been married and I would have never had Sam or Matilda. I wouldn’t have had the last seven years. When I look back I can say I have been truly happy.

God has a way of giving us what we need when we don’t know we need it. I was given a true friend – a foul-mouthed, hilarious, middle-aged, completely selfless guardian angel.

Um, Sam...

The best way to make a change where kids are involved is to make a blanket statement. "She already sleeps through the night!" will certainly be followed by no sleep for a month. "He is so good at listening to me!" can cause a great kid to turn into a monster. I avoid blanket statements for this very reason. But I thought I was safe with one -

"Sam ALWAYS takes great pictures!"

This is now how Sam smiles when a camera comes out. Every time. I beg and plead and this look never comes off his face. I tell him to think of something nice and he looks like this. I ask him to smile gently and he looks like this. I tell him I'll give him candy if he relaxes and he looks like this.

And I JUST started figuring out how to get good pictures of Matilda. I give up.

Hooray For Mother's Day

I truly hope all of my momma friends had as great of a weekend as I did.

On Friday night Eric dumped piles of money and gift cards into my lap. That meant I spent most of Saturday shopping - by myself! I got a bunch of new cake decorating tools and some new clothes. Then I went home and got ready as Mara and Gina were picking me up for a girl's night. That was so needed and so very fun. All I remember is each of us complaining aloud about how weak the margaritas were and then suddenly having to struggle to stay upright. We giggled and ate too much and ended up having to take a cab home. A perfect night!

Yesterday Eric took Sam with him to visit Susan and Colleen. Matilda and I stayed home and watched an entire season of America's Next Top Model while eating leftover pizza. Fan. Tastic.

It was the perfect mother's day weekend - spending almost no time at all with my kids!

Bad Mom. Bad, Bad Mom.

Both of the kids have had runny noses for several weeks. It has caused them to cough quite a bit at night. In all other respects they have been happy and normal. Normal eating, normal sleeping, normal playing.

I finally decided the runny noses had gone on too long and brought them in to the doctor this morning. I thought maybe he could give me an idea to make them feel better.

I was so surprised to find out that Matilda has an ear infection!! I feel like the worst mom in the world! The poor little thing. Apparently the sign of an ear infection in an infant is a runny nose. No fever or anything else. What the heck? Sam has never had one. How was I supposed to know she was sick?

I still feel absolutely horrible about it. Would it be overreacting for me to buy her a pony?

Lanford, Illinois

Can anyone truthfully say that they don’t like Roseanne? I have seen every episode about one hundred times (thanks, 2 am programming!). Okay, everything after the lottery win was pretty bad…but overall it was a fantastic show.

I’ve always been particularly fascinated by the relationship between Roseanne and Jackie. I started watching the show when I was still in elementary school. Even then, I wondered if my adult relationship with my sister would be anything like theirs. They fought, trusted each other, fed each other, raised their kids together, and talked several times each day. You know…sisters.

Immediately after I finished college I moved to Colorado. There, I sat in my dark little apartment – with no cable, of course – and watched reruns. In nearly every episode Jackie would walk through Roseanne’s back door. They’d talk a minute or two and then Jackie would leave. Simple. I could not imagine living like that. My own sister and I were so far away from each other. If we saw each other, it was after months of planning and budgeting. We’d greet each other like crazy people and cry when we said good-bye. I feel I’ve been pretty clear about this, but it bears repeating – my sister is my best friend. She’s like a part of me. I was so incredibly jealous of Roseanne and Jackie’s TV relationship. I couldn’t imagine seeing my sister so often we wouldn’t have to say hello or good-bye.

I lived in St Paul for seven years. I of course saw Jackie a lot more often than I did when I was in Colorado. But even living just an hour and a half apart still seemed too far. Visits were still planned in advance and almost always involved packing a bag. When Eric and I discussed moving I said I didn’t care where we lived, as long as my sister was only ten minutes away. That certainly limited Eric’s search area but he pulled through for me. I can get in my car and open my garage door and be in my sister’s driveway in twelve minutes. I’m willing to let go of the extra two minutes, because as a bonus I can get to Jackie’s work in four minutes.

It is even better than I thought it would be. Over the years Jackie and I have had countless conversations about how wonderful it would be to be able to just stop over at each other’s houses after work. Or have the other’s family over for dinner. Or meet at church on Sunday morning. We’d always say, “You know…like Roseanne and Jackie! Can you imagine? Can you imagine?”

I am fully planning to spend the rest of my life within ten (okay, or twelve) minutes of my sister’s front door. I get so excited just thinking about it. We’ll fight, trust each other, feed each other, raise our kids together, and talk several times a day. You know…sisters.

Smiley McGee

More of our moderately successful photo shoot...