Saying Goodbye - Great-Grandma Inga

These posts will mostly be for me so I have them written down before my memories get blurry. As always, anyone is welcome to read them.

I have been so blessed to have been able to say goodbye to several loved ones before they died. I can't think of any of them without thinking of those last moments I spent with them. I marvel at how, so near death, each of them were stripped down to the core of who they were.

Ruby Slippers

I was 17 when my Great-Grandma Inga died. She is my hero in many ways. She deserves not just her own post, but an entire book based on the strength, love, and resilience that came from her. She had been healthy all her life - right up to her 94th birthday. Then, some medical complications moved her into a nursing home.

It was just a month or so before my high school graduation and I was preparing for my senior prom. My mom had bought me an amazing dress that was head-to-toe red sequins. We had looked all over to find shoes to match that dress. That weekend we were visiting Grandma and stopped at the bridal shop in Red Wing to look - no luck.

I remember sitting in Grandma Inga's room. I was there with my mom (Grandma Inga's granddaughter) and Grandma Joyce (Grandma Inga's daughter). Grandma Inga was confused. At one point she asked whose room we were in. "Mom, we're in your room," Grandma Joyce tried to explain. Several times Grandma Inga drifted off into a light sleep. I was quiet, saddened by seeing my beautiful great-grandma like that.

Then, from out of nowhere, Grandma Inga looked right at me. "Have you found shoes yet?" she asked. Even then I was dumbfounded and it brings tears to my eyes remembering it now. In a moment of clarity she knew exactly who I was. She knew I was Emilie, Barb's daughter and Joyce's granddaughter, and that right then in my life the most important thing in the world was my senior prom. She had five children, 15 grandchildren, 30 great-grandchildren, and 1 great-great grandchild at that time (forgive me if my math is incorrect). But she knew me, and she knew I needed red sequined shoes.

Grandma Inga died soon after that. She never saw the pictures of my prom. Believe it or not, we found red sequined shoes and my mom still has them in storage. Sometimes I like to imagine putting them on and clicking the heels together three times. Grandma Inga would have got a kick out of that.

It Breaks My Heart...

...to say it, but it's true. I HATE the library.

The Rochester Public Library is the worst place EVER. I despise it. I HATE IT.

When I was little Eyota didn't have a library, so we would go to the Rochester library. I LOVED going to the library. I remember my mom giving me a number - 4 or 8 or 10 - and that was the number of books I could check out. The kid's area was all the way upstairs. I'd walk up the carpeted stairs, past the amazing dollhouse in the glass case, and spend as long as I wanted walking up and down the aisles. As far as happy childhood memories go, being at the library is one of the best. I remember the joy of finding a completely new book. I remember the crinkle of opening a plastic-covered book and the hum of the librarian's huge computers.

I know now that I was spoiled when we lived in St Paul. The Maplewood library is awesome. The children's area there is crazy. Piles of books, accompanied by an entire play house and kitchen, puzzles, games, puppets...Sam and I used to go there for hours every week. I would sit on the big red couch and read a magazine as Sam played with trains, cooked dinner, and read stories. It was heaven.

When we moved to Rochester two years ago I couldn't wait to get a library card. The library I grew up with was no more, and a new one had been built. I can't even remember if I was still pregnant or if I had had Matilda the first time we went. In any event, I was severely disappointed. The new library is horrible. Yes, there are rows of books, and yes, there is a fish tank, but there isn't anything else to do there but play on computers. Computers! As if children don't get enough 'screen time' at home. Why in the world would I want to go downtown, park in a ramp, and walk through a mile of skyways for my son to play on a computer??

As heartbreaking as it was I knew I never wanted to go back to the library. However, over a year has gone by and I read that this morning Underwater Adventures would be there. Children would be able to touch underwater creatures during this morning's storytime at 10:00. I left my house at 9:15. I circled downtown a few times before I found a parking garage. I had to park at the very top and carry Matilda through the garage. We walked through skyways until we got to the library. We had to go all the way around the children's section and get in line for the Underwater Adventures presentation. I had read that the auditorium sat 250 and I was worried that we wouldn't get in.

Imagine my delight when we did get in - and my disgust when I saw that the 'auditorium' was a room the size of my living room. We all packed in and sat on the floor. I'd imagine that there was 250 people there. Two girls from Underwater Adventures began speaking and we couldn't hear anything. Matilda got restless and Sam turned to me. "Mom," he whispered. "I think we can go now."

Hooray! The three of us left as more parents and children tried to wedge themselves into the room. I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to wait in line for 45 minutes (while wrestling Matilda) to let my son touch a starfish. I'm just not that person. Instead, the kids and I looked at the aquarium and at the dollhouse I remember from my childhood. Then we ran up and down the skyways and went to Barnes and Noble. We had more fun looking at books there than we did at the library. It's so sad!

My only wishlist for Rochester: 1. One more indoor playgym. 2. Kourtney, Karen, and their families here. 3. A library we can use!!

Class Assignment

What a difference a year makes!

Last August I got a letter from Aldrich with Sam's class list. All of the names, from his teachers to his classmates, were completely new to me. I didn't know a soul.

Today I opened my mailbox to find his new class list. Not only did he get the teacher I requested (he is going to LOVE Mrs. Plute!), I know 10 out of the 20 kids in his class. I know half, and Sam knows several of them. I've been burned out lately by the amount of work needed for the Board. All summer driving to Aldrich meant work was in store. I needed to get a letter that reminded me that this is all about Sam and not about me. I'm beyond excited to get Sam back in there for some fun!

I can't wait!

We Can't Win

This is for each and every one of my dear friends who dislike bringing their kids to day care.

One of my favorite friends in Rochester is Laura. She and I are on the Personnel Committee together at Aldrich. Her kids are six and four (Brooklyn will be in Sam's class this year) and she does in-home daycare. If I ever needed a daycare provider Laura is exactly who I would choose.

This morning the kids and I were invited over to Laura's house for a playdate. She was 'only' expecting two kids in addition to her own. Sam was beside himself with excitement. We had never been to Laura's house to play but we once stopped by so I could drop something off. Her garage has two doors and Sam couldn't be more impressed by it. He has asked several times when we were going to go play at the house with two garage doors. He thinks that means it's Disneyland. "Mom," Sam said as we drove over this morning. "I bet she has rooms full of toys."

I bet she does, too, but we never even went inside. Laura had her kids out on her driveway and her neighbor, who also does daycare, was over. There were fourteen kids there, ages one to seven. Sam and Matilda were in heaven. Sam rode bikes and a scooter. He played baseball and basketball. Matilda played in a little house and got to carry around several different balls. She rode a little bike and sat in a lawn chair. They were both so happy. I saw them sharing and laughing with other kids. In just a few hours they both were able to try several new things. They made friends and listened to Laura when she warned them about getting too close to the road.

I felt terribly guilty when I packed them in the car and brought them home. All of those kids at Laura's were spending the day together learning and playing. Sam and Matilda were home. With me. Again.

Ugh. Most of the time I feel good about my choice to be a stay at home mom but today I'm not sure it was the best choice for my kids.

Clip-Free

I'm too exhausted to go into details but this morning had good news and bad news.

The bad news: Sam was MUCH MORE excited about the idea of having an x-ray than actually doing it.

The good news: Sam's x-ray showed no paper clip! What a relief!

Six Years

It was our anniversary yesterday.

We didn't do anything special. As I've said before, we aren't ones for big events. (Well, Eric is when he's in a manic phase, but I don't know if that counts.)

I've been planning on sitting down and writing down all of my memories of our wedding day. I need to do it now before it gets really fuzzy. Unless I really focus my memories are:

- My mom falling off of a ladder and breaking her arm six days before the wedding. She had to have the sleeves cut off of her dress so she could fit it over a cast. She ended up without a cast but still rocked her sleeveless look.

- Getting my hair done with Kourtney and Jackie. Kourtney told her stylist she wanted something funky. Later she stood in front of me with her hair in a shocking split-twist style. "Too funky," Kourtney said simply.

- Forgetting my 'something blue' at my house (the sapphire earrings Eric gave me when we were 16). I decided I'd forget about it and my something blue would be Eric's eyes.

- The entire church staring at Tali and Ben for what seemed like hours as they waited for their CD to start. I made Ben sing that duet and I don't think he's ever forgiven me.

- Sweet Child Of Mine playing in the party bus. Stopping at Super America several times for restroom breaks while on the party bus. Kourtney referring to her sash/shawl as her 'wipey-thing' and cleaning spilled beer on the bus.

- Forgetting our marriage license on the party bus.

- Our groomsman, Nick, falling off the end of the risers where we ate. Twice.

- My friend Jen falling face-first off of the riser. Once.

- My friend Jen dropping her drink and covering the dance floor with glass shards.

- Amy having SO much fun at the dance, she ended the evening with her strapless dress on completely backward, with the zipper going up her front.

Oh, I love them all. While our marriage is between us our wedding day was all about our family and friends. Be prepared for pictures! I'm feeling nostalgic and think I'll be getting my wedding box out of storage this week...

There's A Reason They're Called Die

My dad and Tina came over for dinner on Wednesday. It was the loveliest dinner party ever - they brought the food! We all ate until we were stuffed and the kids were adorable. When I put Matilda to bed my dad said that they were going to leave. They didn't want to get in the way of bedtime.

"But Matilda is already asleep!" I protested. "And Eric really wants to play Yahtzee."

Those poor, kind people. They'd never played a game with us before. They happily agreed to stay and play.

We were about four rolls into the game when the trash-talking started. Eric and I are big fans of psychological warfare where board games are concerned. We gave exaggerated sighs of sympathy to bad rolls and openly mocked everyone else's scores. I even knocked my dad's pen across the table just to reiterate that I was a bully.

Dad and Tina remarked politely that they had never played a game of Yahtzee quite like ours before. They ended up getting the two highest scores of the night. There is a lesson there somewhere that I am choosing to ignore.

Next time - Battleship!

Texts From Yesterday

Emilie to Eric, 1:33:34: Sam just swallowed a paper clip. Are those lead? Should I call his doctor?

Emilie to Eric, 1:44:04: Dr. Arndt said to just watch for it. We have an appointment for an xray on Monday in case we don't find it. Sigh.

Emilie to Eric, 1:45:14: Matilda just vomited in the tent!

Emilie to Eric, 1:46:38: Sam is really excited as he has always wanted an xray.

Eric to Emilie, 2:00:51: I step away from my phone for a few minutes and this is what happens!

Emilie to Eric, 2:01:03: It was a really bad few minutes!!

Luci and Abdi's Reception

Eric's stepsister, Luci, is Grandma Susan's youngest daughter. She got married several months ago in a small ceremony. Last Saturday she and her husband, Abdi, had a reception in Plainview for all of us who didn't see the wedding.

Luci and Abdi are Muslims. Luci is the only Muslim in our family so we've been learning all we can about her faith and new traditions. That's why I was mortified to commit a faux pas within seconds of walking into the party. Luci greeted us with a hug and introduced us to Abdi. Eric shook his hand and out of habit I stuck my hand out at him, too. Ugh...of course I had forgotten that he doesn't touch any woman other than his wife. He was kind about it but wouldn't shake my hand and I ended up feeling really stupid. I felt better when I found out that Eric's sister Amy had done the same thing - ha! Leave it to me and Amy to be the big idiots of the day.

Carl, Susan, Wally, and Mike Dailey

Shannan, Luci, and Amy (I love this picture of my sisters!)

Take a good look. Matilda is the spitting image of these two (there will be pictures in an upcoming post to prove it). You're looking at my daughter in 30 years!

Here's Abdi and Luci. Abdi's family was pretty amused by the cake-cutting thing.

The littlest Dailey.

Thank goodness for balloons and an open area for the kids to play!

There aren't enough words in any language to explain how funny this is to me. I can't imagine that Wally or Mike ever imagined a day they would wear kufis.

No matter where you worship, no marriage is complete without a Crock-Pot!

I Blame Obama

Our little family has hit another busy streak. The kids and I haven't seen Eric for a week. We left early Friday morning for Sioux Falls and he left on a business trip to Chicago while we were gone. He was supposed to come home last night. Sam and I were going to stay up to see him.

Eric was at O'Hare about an hour before his flight when his flight was canceled. No warning, no reasons given. He spent the next two hours dealing with the airport, his job's travel agency, his boss, area hotels, and me (and my internet connection). He ended up back at the hotel he had just left but this time he was traveling light. (He asked the airline where his bag was. 'On the next available flight, sir,' they sneered condescendingly. So Eric's bag got to Rochester last night while he was stuck in Chicago.)

At one point during this ordeal, after he had arrived at his hotel, he sent me a picture on my phone. I could tell he was looking out his hotel window and it was a picture of a big airplane. I didn't understand the significance until he explained that Air Force One was right outside his hotel. We're assuming clearance for the President's plane was more important than the evening's puddle-jumper flights. FINE.

We are all exhausted. Sam and I can't sleep when Eric isn't home. Matilda is miserable without her dad. She calls for him throughout the day. She even snuggled with me sadly the last time I tried to explain that he was gone. We don't work without Eric!

He should be at O'Hare right now. We are praying he gets on the 7:50 flight which means the kids and I will be at the airport at 9:00. Cruelly, he has to go right to work. The kids will see him tonight but I have a Board meeting.

None of this would have happened if we hadn't elected someone who wasn't even born in this country.

***Update 1: UGH! The 7:50 flight was canceled!!! Now he's at the airport just waiting and hoping he gets on the 9:00 flight.

***Update 2: The 9:00 flight had a gate change and was pushed to 9:15.