Don't Mess With Mama

I am endlessly delighted and amused by the ingenious ideas mothers come up with to deal with their children. I have heard stories of Pacifier Fairies, sneaking vegetables into brownies, and flat-out lying about the side effects of medications in order to fool a child into behaving differently.

Last night I met a woman who may surpass Erma Bombeck as my all-time hero. She was talking quite frankly about her two-year-old who sounds like a major challenge. A few months ago this little boy managed to start climbing out of his crib. He'd get his little foot on the top rail and heave himself up and out. This woman and her husband were woken up several times a night by the sound of their son hitting the ground and then scampering off into the hallway.

A lesser woman may have put up with the interrupted sleep and tried to teach the youngster the importance of staying in his bed. Not this mama. She nipped the problem in the bud. She took all of her son's footie pajamas and carefully sewed all of the legs together from crotch to knee, effectively hobbling her son and making it impossible for him to stretch his foot up onto the top of his crib.

I laughed until I cried picturing this little boy with his legs stitched together. Her plan worked for a few weeks. Then her son figured out how to balance his stomach on the top rail, grip the rail with his little hands, and flip his mermaid body right over the top. She'd hear him hit the ground and then run down the hallway - much more slowly, of course, as he had a stride of less than two inches.

He may have won this battle but there's no doubt in my mind that that tired mother is going to win the war.